Realization
by Niamara
Summary: Lily's conscience says things that make Lily realize how much James really has grown up. LJ oneshot.


Disclaimer: Pen? Check. Paper? Check. Laptop? Check. Imagination? Check. Looks like I've got everything I need to write the next Harry Potter book…what, can't a girl _dream_ anymore? grumbles But I still own the plot…!

_Realization_

_I don't want a lot for Christmas_

_There is just one thing I need_

_I don't care about the presents_

_Underneath the Christmas tree_

_I just want you for my own_

_More than you could ever know_

_Make my wish come true_

_All I want for Christmas is you_

_Mariah Carey, All I Want For Christmas Is You_

Even though it was Christmas, James Potter still felt odd waking up in his _own_ dormitory, to peace and quiet, and pinning the Head Boy badge to his robes everyday, though he really wouldn't have it any other way. This was the reason, therefore, why it was strange that James woke up on the morning of Christmas thinking that this was how it was supposed to be: he was supposed to be Head Boy, even if he hadn't been a prefect, and Lily Evans, the most beautiful girl on Earth to James, was supposed to be Head Girl. It was fate.

While James was getting dressed, he started thinking about Lily, and how she _still_ wouldn't go out with him. _I love her_, he thought, as he put on a pair of fitting blue jeans. _Why can't she see that? Why can't she see that every time I'm near her my heart races, my mind goes blank, and I lose my cool? Why can't she see that I haven't gone out with anyone in a year! Why can't she see that I don't hex anyone I see 'just because I can'? I haven't even _touched_ Snivellus since term started! I haven't skived off classes, or played any pranks, and I've been to every patrol and Head meeting there has been! What is it going to take to win her heart? _he thought desperately, pulling a grey sweatshirt over his head. James took his glasses from his night table and put them on. Finally, he grabbed his Head Boy badge and pinned it to his sweatshirt, and completed his appearance by pulling on his white sneakers.

James glanced towards his alarm clock; it read 6:30. _So Lily won't even be up for…half an hour_. James grinned sadly. He knew so much about Lily, and she probably didn't know, or even _want_ to know anything, about him.

James descended his staircase leading to the Head's common room, thinking that he should start on his easiest assignment: his Transfiguration essay. Professor McGonagall had assigned the class a 15" essay on animagi, which included everything from how from how one would distinguish an animagus from a regular animal, to how one transforms into their animagus state. Since James already excelled at Transfiguration, being an illegal animagus himself would just make the essay even easier. So James settled down at his desk with his parchment, quill and ink, and started to write his essay.

Lily Evans, woke up on Christmas morning feeling quite unlike she usually did when she woke. On weekends in particular, she usually woke up to the 'oh-great-I-have-to-spend-the-day-with-Potter' feeling. Because of the NEWTs, the seventh years spent all of their time that was not already taken up by eating or classes in their dorms, either studying or doing their homework. This meant that Lily and James spent lots of time together, to the apparent displeasure of Lily, and obvious delight of James. However, while the days wore on, Lily found herself becoming less and less annoyed with James' behaviour, although she didn't know why. **_Well, maybe it's because he's changed._**

_Who, Potter?_ Lily questioned as she sat up straighter in her bed. _How would you know? Wait, who are you exactly, anyways?_

_**I'm your conscience of course, oh bright one. And yes, I am referring to James. He's changed, and definitely for the better. He's not attacking Severus anymore, or any student really, and he hasn't asked you out since…?**_

_The beginning of the year,_ Lily unwillingly finished her conscience's sentence.

_**There you go! And that's only one thing he's changed. He hasn't pranked anyone since term started, and he hasn't been acting like a selfish, bullying, cocky toe-rag, as I believe you so eloquently put it.**_

_Yes, ok, but still…he…he…um…he…_

**_He what, Lily? _**Her conscience questioned._** James has changed for you, and for the better, and you and I both know it. And I **know** you noticed. I'm not your conscience for nothing, after all.**_

_Yes! Ok, I admit it! I noticed, ok? I noticed, and…and…_

**_And? _**her conscience tempted.

_And I fancy James Potter, ok? Are you happy now? I admit I fancy James Potter!_

_**Excellent, we're making progress.**_

_Making progress?_

_**Yes! They always say the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem.**_

_They? Who're they? And what problem do I have?_

**_Nothing, dear,_** her conscience told her, as if she was dismissing the question with a wave of her hand. **_However_**, it continued, **_I don't think we've uncovered the whole truth yet._**

_The whole truth? What are you talking about? I said I fancy James. What more is there to say?_

_**Oh, already with the 'James'?**_

_Well, if I fancy the bloke I might as well be on a first name basis with him, shouldn't I?_

_**Right indeed, Miss Lily. But I don't think you only fancy James.**_

_What are you on about? Of course James is the only guy I fancy!_

_**No no no no no. You misinterpreted what I said. I think you're feeling more for young Mr. Potter than you let yourself believe.**_

_You mean you think I _love_ him?_

_**I think you do.**_

_No, I don't think I do, thanks! Who would love the way he messes his hair when he's nervous? Who would like how he _always _has a smile on his face? Or how his hair is so gorgeously windswept after he's played Quidditch? Or…the way he taps his quill on his parchment when he's thinking, or when he's angry? Or the way his hazel eyes sparkle after he's pulled off something huge? Or –' _

_**Or the way both of you are hopelessly, head over heels in love with each other?**_

_But he doesn't like me any more._

**_How do you figure that?_** asked her conscience in an annoyed tone.

_Because he hasn't asked me out all year! _Lily shouted at her conscience.

_**He hasn't you out all year because **you** didn't like it when he did! He only stopped so you would notice him! So you would go out with him, and tell me, has it worked? Are you hopelessly, head over heels in love with James Potter?**_

_Yes,_ Lily admitted to her conscience.

_**What's that? I can't hear you.**_

_Yes,_ Lily thought louder.

_**Sorry?**_

'I SAID YES, YOU STUPID CONSCIENCE! I LOVE JAMES! NOW SOD OFF!' Lily heard a creaking to her left and turned to look at her door. What she saw there made her want to die from embarrassment. James Potter was standing in her doorway, with a beautifully wrapped gift in his hands.

Lily stayed silent, watching James walk into her room, place her gift on her night table, and then turn around and sit on her bed, looking directly at her. Lily was uncomfortable; she was still in her pajamas, with horrible bed hair, and James was wearing really nice, blue jeans, and a grey sweatshirt that fit him perfectly, and brought out his stunning hazel eyes.

'Did you mean it?' he whispered, as if not to embarrass Lily any further; she was dangerously close to the colour of her flaming red hair.

'Mean what?'

'Did you mean it when you said you loved me?'

'Yeah,' Lily replied, looking down at her hands,

A few moments of silence passed, before, 'Lily?'

'Yeah?'

'I love you too.' And with that, James leaned in to kiss Lily Evans, the girl of his dreams since his first day at Hogwarts, all the while thinking that this was the best Christmas present he could have ever received.

Lily gently broke the kiss, looking up into James' eyes. 'Happy Christmas, James,' she grinned reaching over to hug him as she rested her head on his chest.

'Happy Christmas, Lily,' James said, as he kissed her head lightly, wearing the largest smile that he had ever worn.

* * *

A/N: I know it's after Christmas, but I still felt obligated to put this one up! I thought it was cute, but I want to know what you think too, so click the button and review! Merci beaucoup. 

By the way, Happy Holidays everyone!

Niamara


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